Chocolate caramel macaroons

I'm getting really good at making dense, almondy biscuits. They're firm and crisp, with a satisfying crunch to them, and nice, melting fillings sandwiching them together. This would be great if this were The Ministry of Dense Crunchy Biscuits, but it's not. It's supposed to be The Ministry of Goddamn Bollocking Macaroons.
The raspberry monstrosities of the weekend were very nearly the last straw, but I decided to re-approach the matter calmly and patiently. Perhaps the trouble with my macaroons is my impatience, my unwillingness to go through the steps, one by one. So today, calmly, patiently, rationally, and solemnly, I went through the steps, to make Nigella's Chocolate Macaroons:
Recipe:
125 g icing sugar
65g ground almonds
2 egg whites, whipped
1 tbsp cocoa powder
1 tbsp caster sugar


Preheat oven to 180 degrees. Whip the egg whites to soft peaks, then add the caster sugar and whip til stiff. Sieve the icing sugar, almonds and cocoa powder together, and fold into the egg whites. Pipe into 5 cm rounds on a lined baking sheet, and leave for 15 minutes to form a skin. Bake in the oven for 10-12 minutes. 


The finished result should look something like this:

Treacherous, lying beasts.

Would you like me to paraphrase the recipe for you? Ok, here you are "FAILURE"


I did everything. Oh, Lordy, I did. I even took extra care - blitzing the almonds, icing sugar and cocoa together to make sure there aren't any lumps, adding in a pinch of baking powder to make them rise (many recipes recommend this, or cream of tartar, or a tiny squeeze of lemon juice), leaving them to rest for longer. But did any of it work? Of course it didn't, because many moons ago, I baked a batch of macaroons on an Indian burial ground, and though those ones worked ok, Big Chief Ladurée cursed me that I should never again make recognisable macaroons til the end of my days. Oh how I laughed, at the time. And blithely started upon the next batch, only to discover I was now really good at producing spongy (and yet tooth-crackingly crunchy at the same time, how pretty) discs of carbon with no discernable feet (those are the little ruffly bits round the base of the macaroon that I have lost the ability to produce) whatsoever.

I refuse to give up though - I will persevere with my crazed internet research, and I will someday, SOMEHOW, even if I have to go back and perform inappropriate favours for Big Chief Ladurée himself*, make some decent macaroons again. In the meantime, I recommend checking out this lady. She knows what she's doing, even if many of her macaroons are a strange blue colour: Not So Humble Pie Macaroon 101


* And by golly, nevermore will I buy ground almonds from Lidl.